Until my Last Breath
The way people meet is kind of strange if you think about it. We take interest in others we know nothing about. The common mystery behind each person sparks interest within us to investigate individuals, to see if they have the same likes and dislikes. We are all attracted to different qualities of a person. Whether it is their scent, voice, smile, attire or even their varying world views. No matter what it is that draws us to that specific person, they end up leaving a bigger impact on us than we think which either completes us or destroys us.
When I met Danny, I was a sophomore in college looking to get a degree in biology. I had nothing planned out, but who really does in their first few years of college? Danny was a senior baseball player who was also working on a degree in biology.
We met at a party, like almost all college love stories start. I never thought that I could potentially fall in love with him. He was the jock of the school that everyone knew and loved. I was the girl that kept low and was glued to a book. But there was something about him that I needed to understand. I was drawn to that devilishly handsome smile. Something inside me intensified when he was around. The way he looked at me made me melt into a puddle of hopeless romance.
After that night we continued to see one another, and soon we put a label on it. I didn’t realize that could’ve been the worst mistake of my life. Danny had dark curly brown hair that covered his eyebrows, his eyes were a light blue with a sparkle in them like when the sun hits the ocean. He was about 6’1 and had a jawline that looked like it could cut you. His lips were plump and pink; when they were pressed against mine it made my knees weak. He held me so close to his chest when we hugged that I could feel his heartbeat flutter like the delicate wings of a newly hatched butterfly. I felt safe in his arms. Like he could never hurt me or anyone for that matter. I never thought I could be so wrong.
By our half a year anniversary, I was covering up and spending way too much money on makeup. I had dropped out of college to start a life with him. My parents were so furious with me and I haven’t talked to them since the day I told them I was moving to Nevada with Danny. That was two months ago. He thought it would be a good idea to get out of New York and jump right into starting a life with one another. I agreed because it seemed like he really wanted this. He might even change. He told me that the stress of school makes him act out. Since I am his go to person he takes it out on me. I understand, it’s not his fault. That’s why I am reluctant to move there with him. I love him.
Love is blind. I couldn’t see that he was hurting me. I always thought it was my fault or it was the things that stressed him out. For example, unfolded laundry, a messy house or anything out of place. I always tried to keep him calm, but with every beating there was a new excuse. He promised to change. I believed him until I took my last breath.
My name is Ellie Anderson from Albany New York, I died on our one-year anniversary. After I tripped and broke a good wine glass on the floor. He wrapped his hands around my throat and squeezed. He was bigger and stronger than me. My once steady heartbeat came to a stop, my baby blue eyes went black and my bruised and battered body became relaxed.
In my last few moments of life, memories of my family and childhood ran through my head. The last memory was of me running through a field chasing butterflies. Every time I came close to catching one it would fly off to a new flower. I never caught the butterfly because I fell down and scraped my knee on a tree stump. My mother came to my cries and told me, “be strong baby girl, be strong” and she presented me with a beautiful blue and black butterfly. My tears subsided and my heart was full as I held the delicate creature on my finger. As it flew away into the crisp fall air I felt lighter. I let go. I was free.
If I told my mother what was going on I might’ve still been here today. To tell her how much I love her, but I didn’t. I bottled it up and let my cries consume me instead of being strong.
Make sure the people you chose to love are healthy for your being. In the end. love either completes you or completely destroys you.