“A Midnight Dream”
by Shaniqua Sutton
“Good morning, sweetness. How you feel?”
This would be the first sentence to rush across my lips on the long road that leads to your ears. The second that you open your eyes my heart begins to flutter.
An internal shutter of astonishment every time I see the twinkle in your eyes,
in those beautiful orbs, I can see my forever.
And in that forever,
you chose me over and over and over again to where I could not contain the elation of my soul.
And you haven’t even spoke, yet your voice calls out to me
just as a reminder that everything is going to be okay.
You sing my favorite song every day and you don’t even know it.
Countless days I have spent in your embrace,
and I cannot remember the last time that I didn’t feel like I did not belong with you.
I want to spend the days I have left letting you know how wonderful you are.
Are you able to feel magic as well as despair at the same time?
Think of it this way…
I never thought that I would ever write things like this,
but spending more and more time locked in your gaze allows for reflection.
All of this I would tell you,
but right now the only phrase to claw its way out is “I love you”.
“Crying for Help”
by San’tasia Jones
I guess I’ll never be comfortable
until I can cry by myself.
Unfortunately whenever I cry
I have to be screaming for help.
I have to hold it back
too many times the tears fall
behind open eyes.
And when I finally let people see
into my soul and mind,
they leave me behind
with broken promises in my hands
and scars that look like ladders.
They follow a pattern
that lead to my face.
No, I can’t erase the
thought of you.
Even if I could I wouldn’t
benefit, because then I would never learn.
The lesson still isn’t fully clear
and I fear it never will be.
I am always seeking
the next level.
Impatient, I wish I had it all now:
The husband, the car, the house,
the sense of security that you promised me.
And then left
broken in my hand
because of a harsh reality
that I had already seen and was preparing for:
The calm before the storm
The meeting before the war
The actions I abhor that drove me
Sanity was tinted
in the color,
and the smell of you.
I don’t know what to do…
because crying would be screaming for help.
And I don’t think you’d save me;
I have to save myself.
Although I long for someone else to fill that
and consistency I’ve always wanted,
I’m not there yet.
And it’s just a longing
to move along from the pain.
I’m trying to give myself time to think,
but all I think about is you.
Because never again
will “we” be in existence.
More so just a memory,
while I try to heal.
And deal with the growing envy
that maybe someone was better.
But I have to stop comparing,
because all I have is myself.
And still, crying would feel like I’m screaming for help.